Spring Break!

Spring Break is supposed to be a vacation...right? Well, this break is a break from classes and an opportunity to be thrust right into homework for after break... *sigh*

Either way! I've been fairly productive! More productive than I would be if I had classes and rehearsal every day.

Here's the list of things I wanted to accomplish by the end of break!

• Apply for Passport
• Get Car Inspected
• File Taxes
• Go to my Doctor's appointment, FINALLY
  
• File FAFSA
  
• Get Car the once over at the shop
• Second Interview in Westford
• Figure out tech week class conflicts
• Read first 6 chapters of Bridging the Gap
• Read Experience and Education (Dewey Book) - Started.
  
• Catch up on blog posts and discussions for Seminar
• Timeline and transcription of All Along the Watchtower
• Find the Context of Berlioz score and start analyzing for presentation
• Send out education outreach emails to local schools for RENT
• Write a large majority of the Program for RENT
• Get costume pieces from Storage unit
• Work on Lines and blocking for opera/Get off-book

So you can see from what's highlighted in red that I've been very productive, just not as productive as I would have liked to have been by this point in the week. I'm hoping to get through a LOT more work tomorrow... I miss when vacation was vacation. The last two weeks burnt me out so much I couldn't even start doing my homework right away, because I kept falling asleep and taking naps, just to let my brain recharge... I can't wait until life settles down a little. I've always been a fast-paced person, but this is getting ridiculous.

My doctor told me I needed to make more time to relax because I didn't want to be one of those Type A, constantly stressed people who has a heart attack at age 27. She's right. I'm going to try to do a yoga video once a day to de-stress and focus. Hopefully it helps.

I also, once I'm caught up for good on my schoolwork, want to spend at least ten minutes a day writing. I keep saying I miss writing, and I am not kidding. It will happen, I just need to keep reminding myself to write...

What is vacation again?

The past two weeks have been hell on Earth. Rehearsing 6 days a week, full time school, and grad work that never seems to end...it's been miserable. Midterms are not helping either. This semester of graduate school is miserable. Last semester I managed to balance everything while working three times as many hours of work, an internship, and being sick all fall. For some reason this semester is kicking my ass. I'm just praying I make it through by the skin of my teeth to next year.

I still miss writing... I still want to write. I still plan on writing. I just need to keep my sanity in the process. Thus, I will try by getting the energy to write in between the mount Everest-sized pile of homework I was assigned this spring break.

Hopefully you see something interesting from me this week! Happy Spring break everyone!

I really need to start writing again... I miss it way more than I should, considering how busy I've been, and I want to re-hone my skills.

All THAT being said... I've never had one thought that happened in order in my life... so, we'll see how this goes. I want to at least be able to write short stories again... I miss devising characters. Characterization was what I loved doing in high school.

Wish me luck!

Brevity is the Soul of Wit...

I'm getting very tired of feeling pathetic...

Wake up before Dawn...

So, it is the start of the new semester, and Seasonal Affective Disorder is running rampant throughout South Campus. I'm not sure if it's the snow, or the cold... or maybe a little bit of both, but everyone seems just a bit grumpy, myself included. I can't speak for everyone else, but I know I'm trying to pull myself out of it. Here's to optimism and being chill from now on!

As for the new semester starting let me give you a breakdown of my course load.

1. Choir = Same as usual, only with world music this semester.

2. Opera = Awesome! It's going to be epic.

3. Seminar = Your average Dr. Greher class amped up because I will actually have to get through the readings thoroughly, and I will have to find time to do live, in person research for my final project, which doesn't sound too painful, except that it'll have to be after school and that's usually when I have class... The projects we do for class, however, are always fun, so I'm remaining optimistic. Dr. G's classes are always awesome.

4. Structure, Context, and Style = Well... It's the class that will be my downfall. It's truly going to show me what grad school is all about... but I'm going to learn an insane amount of information in analyzing scores and how music functions... if I can remember the basics from Music Theory 3 years ago.

On top of this I'm hoping to be in RENT on campus, finish up my internship with creating some sort of education outreach with RENT and writing the program for the show. Good God, save me now. It's going to be interesting to watch me twitch as the semester progresses...

In doing all of these activities, I'm going to have to take better care of myself... so I'm thinking of goals I can have to start on January 31st. Start of the new week, start of the new regimen I say.

1. Go to the gym for at least an hour Monday - Thursday. I just want to run on a treadmill or hit the elliptical and do crunches and stuff for an hour. Maybe 2. I want to work up to 2 hours at some point.

2. Start doing yoga. I love yoga, and always have, so I never understand why I can't get myself to even do a yoga tape on a regular basis.

3. Cut soda out of my diet entirely. I lived without caffeine for a long time, and I can do it again. Diet soda may have zero calories, but it doesn't make it good for you.

4. Stop eating red meat. Red meat is bad for you anyway, and I want to cleanse my body out for good.

If I sucessfully do all of the above, I hope to drop at least 20 lbs. I'm not fat, but I need to live healthier, and take better care of myself. It can only help me. Plus, I'm tired of being unsatisfied with myself. I'll be in a better mood, I will sleep better, and I will feel healthier if I can stick to this.

Here's to a healthier life and a successful semester!

for Auld Lang Syne...

Everyone takes the new year to start fresh, making New Year's Resolutions and all of that. I tried not to make resolutions this year. I'm terrible at keeping resolutions. Like, I'm beyond terrible at keeping resolutions. Instead I made goals, and realizations. Goals, because I can keep a goal slowly over time. A goal I don't have to be perfect with. I can make mistakes and have lows and highs as long as I try my hardest to ultimately achieve my goal over the course of 2011. Resolutions have always seemed so very black and white to me, and thus, they set people up for failure. I like to keep my options open.

In all of my backward-sounding logic, I was able to make a few "goals" that I'd like to keep over the course of 2011.

1. Live Healthier.

This one isn't going so hot at the moment because winter break and my insane commute to work prevents me from being near kitchens long enough to make healthy food. I've made strides, however the mall food court can only be so healthy. I am just very tired of gaining and losing weight depending on my stress level.

2. Loosen Up!

I've spent too much of my life following rules and trying to do what is "right." Granted, this has kept me out of trouble, however, maybe I shouldn't be out of trouble. Maybe I should just... live.

3. Learn when to shut up.

I'm doing better with this one. Not quite perfect, but better. End it before there's a conflict. Shut up before you get upset. Don't bother getting upset. It's not worth the stress anymore.

There's also been a lot of reflection happening in my life right now as well... I learned a few good things from both my breakup this summer, and a good friend of mine, helping me figure my shit out, whether they meant to or not. They know who they are, and will remain anonymous as a result. I'm sure they'll appreciate it.

1. I need to learn when the hell to shut up.

2. I need to loosen the hell up.

3. I am attractive and talented.

4. My eyes are my best feature.

5. I am way stronger than I've given myself credit for.

There were more that I can't remember right now, but those were the biggies. I know they were things that I should have known, but I'd let myself get so dragged down I had forgotten. Either way, 2011 is a year of discovery and (hopefully) fun. So here's to 2011. May our goals be met and may we never forget who we are and what our strengths are.

Another Hundred People Just Got Off of the Train....

My life never ceases to be a whirlwind of excitement and drama in some fashion or another. Two summers in a row were marred beyond repair, and yet, I have survived. That's what I've decided I am... a survivor. I've been to hell and back, and I think I'm finally at a place of comfort in who I am once again.

Karma is also a bitch. I paid my dues. I went through the bad times, sucked it up, dealt with my shit and it's finally paying off. I know I'm a lot different than I used to be, and I'm becoming more and more ok with that, because I can remember who I am.

I started to think my philosophy on people and life was wrong. I now think that I should always trust my beliefs. People do not change; they forget who they are. The difference is in whether they then remember who they are. Some will, some won't. I became the very epitome of the type of girl I hated, and could not figure out why. When I did, I was disgusted with myself. How could I allow myself to think that way, act that way, become that kind of person even? Furthermore, how was I to break free?

Thank God for my cousin. She helped a lot.

Yeah, some people will never remember who they are. The future will tell all. Despite the cloud cover, today is a good day. A VERY good day.

:D